Wholly crap has my life been AWESOME
Not ONLY did my re-fi at an afore mentioned sweet rate but other good things happened too.
First, Kristin and I took a day trip around the sound. As we started driving north my personal goal was the Oakley outlet store as I do own enough Oakley sunglasses to feed a small African nation for a month. (currently at 6 pair) Said store happened to be next to the largest casino in WA state. I asked Kristin “Do you have a dollar?” She did and I had one dollar as well. We stopped in to take a look through the place, just a quick lap, and lose our respective dollars. On the way out I stated that we each had to find a machine that spoke to us and bet the entire dollar on the single pull of a slot. I walked off to the side stating “No payout machines are on the aisle.” I saw my target, a Sea Monkeys themed video penny slot machine. As I played my 100 credits (because god forbid you think its real money) I promptly lost my money but won 15 bonus spins, which it would gladly play for me. Over the next 10 minutes, Kristin and I watched as the alien intelligence talked to itself. I didn’t press a button or make a bet. It had its own agenda. Like the lights that flashed as the 1980’s Nickelodeon “Tomorrow People” did when they teleported, it was blinding. Credits won, multipliers gained, bonus bonus spins given. “Why is king-seamonkey, king-seamonkey, food packet, seahorse, bar, a winner but kid-monkey, kid-monkey, kid-monkey, kid-monkey, fishbowl, not?” Who cares because at the end my $1 was $51.25. I have not seen anything more beautiful and moving since the clip of the Brit girl. http://www.youtube.com/user/britainsgottalent?blend=2&ob=1
It is spring, which means I can pull out the bright colors of my American Apparel T-shirts. My only quarrel is that somewhere along the line they decided to take a normal size shirt and add 3 inches to the bottom. Aren’t kids supposed to be fat? Do they go from fat kids to anorexic emo teens? Is this the new heroin sheik or are tunics back in fashion?
As most of you know I got my P(rofessional)E(ngineer)stamp and can officially certify and be sued for my bad decisions. http://apps.leg.wa.gov/RCW/default.aspx?cite=18.43.070 The highlight was when I actually got the rubber stamp. Like the librarian in Indiana Jones “The Last Crucade” my stamp causes a thunderous noise as if to say HERE I AM. FOLLOW ME. Or when I use it to sign my checks, or use it on mailboxes to tag my turf in direct violation of the law.
http://apps.leg.wa.gov/WAC/default.aspx?dispo=true&cite=196-23&full=true
I wonder though if the terminology is correct to be a “registered” engineer. Am I to be ashamed? Do I have to go around the neighborhood letting them know I’ve moved into their community? Do I have to end every segment with a list of questions?
Finally, there is the swine flu and of course as a concerned friend you’ll ask “But are you taking precautions to protect yourself?” To which I say that I have burned every copy of Charlotte’s Web I can find as a precaution.
Jason “no one expects a drunk driver at 7:45pm” Newquist
P.S. Despite my earlier swine flu email about piglet and pooh I did not use that to steel the Charlotte’s Web joke… I thought of my joke 2 days ago, the timing is regrettably close.
PPS I wasn’t drunk, just buzzed.
PPSS “Buzzed driving is drunk driving.”
PPPSS I was totally willing to take a breathalyzer had I been pulled over. I stand by my decision.
PPPPSSS “That’s a six pack.” And a six pack costs $110, right Tom?
