It appears I’ve been taken over by the marketing machine that is Tyler Perry and it is only a matter of time before you too fall. Can you imagine the first stadium to fall? Tyler Perry’s Candlestick? Whoa, I didn’t mean to get personal. Perhaps we could knock him down a peg if we called it Tyler Perry’s field… no wait then he’s still a playa’. DA** it the man just keeps on winning.
My apparent paranoia aside I thought I was over due to bore you with the tedium that is my life. I must also say that the reason I haven’t written sooner is because my weekends have been delightfully filled with the company of Kristin, the same special lady friend of the past few months. So, instead of ranting about the awesomeness of Gambit’s appearance in the new X-men Origins movie, or the $50 beer cooler I won at the Packer bar raffle, I focus more on the delightful play of sea otters at the aquarium and the quiet nights watching Six Feet Under on DVDs.
I feel I may have failed you somehow. (Kristin please pay no attention to that last statement.)
Ok, first on the awesome list… clear duct tape. Like transparent aluminum, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transparent_aluminum why was this so hard to figure out? Packing tape was 80% there? Was it because it wasn’t in Star Trek first? http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Transparent_aluminum What does this mean? It means that the duct tape wallet is now invisible meaning you money just appears to float in thin air…. ooooh spooky. http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Duct-Tape-Wallet
(It appears that the real threat is not Tyler Perry but wikis)
I think the next item of note is my militant running of our condo meetings for the last 2 years. I’m tired. I’m fried. I’m the only man on a board with 5 other women. We used to spend a lot of time talking about our feelings, excuse me, I spent a lot of time listening to their feelings…. Eff that. I am an engineer, I like black and white, yeas or nays as the crosswords puzzles go. I generally get one or two abstentions on our votes because they must have eaten a lot of waffles for breakfast. That’s fine, New York can abstain as courteously as it wants http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068156/quotes but a majority rules. O’doyle rules, we’ve taken a vote, if you don’t like it kick me out because I’d be happy to go.
We did have some excitement this past week as I woke up to the acrid smell of burning plastic at 12:30 AM. I opened the blinds to see two firemen walking in our alley. I closed the window and went back to sleep. If they are already here what am I going to do? These are the actions of a concerned leader. (It turned out to be an accidental dumpster fire in our neighbors dumpster. It’s okay, our adjacent dumpster was undamaged, thank you for your concern.)
On the other side of the coin I was just elected VP of our church council. What a fantastic change. I’ve been in churches with problems, the only problem we have is our growth and how we expand to meet it. If all you do at work is deal with problems I think you can all appreciate how nice it would be to have your only problem be “How do we get awesomer?”
On a final note I do have a problem that I could use some perspective on. It seems I no longer need a calendar on my wall. For years I’ve stood by the theory that you wait until the last week of January, when the kiosks at the mall are selling at 75% off to pick up a calendar. That also means that all the January events in my life are hosed. (Sorry for missing your birthday Chris, but I do owe you money (super bowl coin toss bet) so I’m avoiding you) And yet here we are in Feb and I’ve just not felt the need to pick up a calendar of humpback whales or 396 kittens. (13 month calendar) So I settled for the vendor calendar from work. This year I will celebrate March looking at the installation of Intellibay fluorescents installed at the Corning Research Center in Granville Ohio. Sorry, Tyler Perry’s Intellibay fluorescents.

Jason “Tyler Perry’s wiki of Tyler Perry is an infinite loop” Newquist