Oh, the title is so punny you probably should stop reading right now.  I’ll try to keep it in chronological order.  

   Pre first-item item: please take a minute to tip your 48oz for the man.   http://news.ufl.edu/2007/11/27/gatorade-creator-dr-robert-cade-dies-tuesday-at-age-80/  If there was ever a more obvious file name for a web page it would have to be “http://porn.com/this-page-is-about-sex/  

First, some housekeeping… apparently the Wilde’s love these little rants of mine and at Dan’s plea I’ve started posting these to a blog.  If you can’t wait and need to be bored at the speed of light subscribe to my rss feed, however that’s done, off the following site.  http://newq.wordpress.com/  Seeing as how everyone reading this is on the email distribution it’s not for YOU but for those of you who are FORWARDED this message.  Jason Newquist… local celebrity.  

   Us Midwesterners don’t cotton to that sort of self promotion so I’m glad that’s out of the way.  Let’s start the holiday highlights with bookends of yet another adventure as El Presidente of the condo association.  As I told many of you I had to field 4 calls in my first 2 days back in Milwaukee about the heat and how the Board had to authorize upping the heat 2 degrees, (We’ve one central thermostat on a radiant heat system which sounds like an aluminum baseball bat beaten against wrought iron.  A sound familiar to all those on the East Coast for certain.) on a trial basis, to take care of those 12.5 percent who felt it was too cold.  Now you may ask, “Why don’t you tell 12.5 percent to take a hike?”  Well, because they are both over the age of 80 and when you only have 16 units you know everyone.  It’s easy to be rude to strangers, not so much to little old ladies.  What did I find when I came back? 50% of people claiming that it was so hot that they had to open their windows.  Alas you see the weight that bears on me like a Columbian drug lord.  No seriously; uppity neighbors, hail of bullets… same thing.  Like laundry and movies. (thank you Lowe’s cinemas)   

   My trip back to ‘Stallis started with the annual WABI (West Allis Bi-coastal Invitational) which again saw UNPRECEDENTED growth.  Now I’ve mentioned that this event has had exponential growth each year it has been held, first 1, then 2, 4, and this year 11!  Some one complained that I call every year’s growth unprecedented.  I can tell you in the polite calm and democratic/half caring voice I use on the little old ladies mentioned above, that it is unprecedented.  The definition is “that which has come before” and so while it may be redundant, as long as growth continues at a rate greater than previously seen, well your grammar Nazi ways are … uhm… unprecedented.  HELL WE’RE BEATING MOORE”S LAW!    

   What did you get for Christmas?  I got adult presents.  No, not the inappropriate kind but the kind that come with aging, like cookware, new blinds, and a torchiere lamp. Isn’t growing up fun?!  Well unless you got a kidney for Christmas I also got the best present of the year.  Imagine if you will a smoking jacket with satin lining made entirely of Crown Royal bags.  I was collecting them from the bar and when I realized I had more than any gaming geek could ever use for dice bags I had the idea to give Hugh (Heffner) a run for his money.  In June I asked my stepmother to create such an item.  When she and my dad visited in August we had the sizing and discussion on layout of pockets etc.  On December 23^rd I received the final product.  I will send the pictures to Crown to see what we can get for them, and I will wear it for Halloween.  “What are you?” they’ll say.  “Who cares?  This jacket wins.” I’ll say. 

   You may ask where the pictures are.  Well, I have a lousy camera phone pic and several people have seen it in person, but I have to arrange for a formal camera shoot.  Alicia would you do the honors?  Alicia has a phantasteek (spelling error intentional) theory about personal pictures.  It states that pictures of you smiling at the camera are lame.  But pictures of you looking dramatically off camera are tolerable.  She says, “Pose like you’re at a photo shoot for the inside liner pictures of your new solo album.”   

   I beat Guitar Hero III on medium, but I’m no Jon Laack.  I had the chance to play Rock Band with a full compliment of in-room players, but I’ll save that for my non-existent gaming blog.  I will simply state that while Guitar Hero is more difficult there were two points in our Rock Band marathon where I briefly escaped real life and had the fleeting thought that things were good.  For a fleeting moment I was transcendantly happy to be on a fictional stage with real friends.  (Insert the theme from the new cad ad featuring the song by Train and the woman getting lost in the moon roof as they travel through Manhattan)  

Jason “running for re-election in 2008 and leading in an unopposed race” Newquist